


Naming Conventions

by somnolentblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-18
Updated: 2010-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-06 10:19:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somnolentblue/pseuds/somnolentblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Castiel inquires about his acquisition of a nickname.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naming Conventions

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for mini_nanowrimo. No spoilers. Complete and utter crack. Feedback is love, and concrit is welcomed.

Castiel sat in the back of the Impala, wondering if it was the right time to inquire about a matter that had been a source of irritation. Finally, he concluded that voicing his inquiry at this juncture would not be inappropriate; they had exhausted all potential avenues of conversation concerning the imminent crisis, and he understood that asking questions was a valid method of whiling away time on voyages.

"Why do people persist in truncating my name? I am 'Castiel' not 'Cas.'"

Sam snickered a little, and Dean replied, "Sorry, dude, Hunters' Rules. 'S what happens when you join the human side of the force."

"I do not understand."

Dean looked away from the road and glanced at Sam; Sam shook his head in negation at whatever Dean had just silently requested.

Dean sighed and began to explain. "Okay, Cas, so hunters, we're a rather disorganized group. We're awesome, right, heroic types, but we don't exactly have what you'd call a leader to take the little green men to. So, somewhere along the way - legend said that Colt had something to do with it -"

"Legend says that Colt invented poker, the internal combustion engine, and the hamburger," Sam interjected. "I'd discount legend on this one."

"_Any_ways," Dean resumed, "as I was saying, somewhere along the way hunters devised a system. They got some dudes to keep track, and the longer your name, the more people jump before asking how high."

Castiel continued to look at the brothers. He had learned that they would usually explain things in a more logical manner and employ a more precise vocabulary if he steadily gazed at them for a period. Of course, sometimes he did it simply to, as Dean would say, fuck with them. There were many empty days to fill during this quest.

Sam acquiesced to Castiel's unspoken demand and offered his own version of an explanation. "Essentially, hunters don't have a hierarchy or clear chain of command. However, sometimes things happen where someone needs to make decisions, to be in charge, so at some point people decided that the quickest and easiest manner of indicating authority was to embed it in people's names. The more syllables in your name, the more people listen to you."

Castiel digested Sam's words. There was a certain elegance to it, and it explained why people deferred to Ellen and Bobby. However, there were several elements that remained unclear. "How does one determine how many syllables one bears? Would not the baptismal name given by one's parents be decisive?"

"That's the brilliant part!" Dean crowed. "Colt-"

"Not necessarily Colt," Sam muttered.

"- invented some little green dudes that keep track of it all! 'S brilliant!"

Castiel endeavored to raise one eyebrow in order to indicate his continued befuddlement. He was evidently successful, and Sam picked up the narration once more.

"Sorry, it really is little green dudes." Sam made a complicated gesture with one hand, and a small green figure materialized in the air.

"Winchester, Samuel. Called 'Sam.' Winchester, Dean. Called 'Dean.' Angel, Castiel. Called 'Cas.'" After the litany of names, it dematerialized.

"It seems to be based on experience in the field in conjunction with the respect other hunters give you." Sam chortled. "Someone whose name begins with D and ends with -ean tried to hack it once, and it knocked him back down to being known as just 'D.'" Dean glared at his brother, but Sam's comment remained uncontested.

"I find myself curious. How, exactly, would one upgrade the name 'Dean'?"

Dean squirmed in his seat, and Sam smirked. "Well, that's how you know if someone was born in a hunting family. Those kids get names that expand and contract easily - Jo's full name is Joanna Beth. We end up with extra words or syllables - 'Deano,' 'Big Dean,' 'Dumb Dean,' - you don't know what it's going to be until the green guys announce it. It seems to track to what other hunters call you."

Castile ruminated and resolved to perform further research on this matter as expeditiously as possible. He was an angel of the Lord, and it was not fitting that he be subjected to monosyllabic moniker.


End file.
